Grace

"Let us therefor come BOLDLY to the throne of GRACE, that we may find MERCY and GRACE in time of need." ~Hebrews 4:16

GRACE:

a : unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification

b : a virtue coming from God

c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace 

MERCY:  

a : compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; also : lenient or compassionate treatment 

Message Translation of Hebrews 4:14-16~

"Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help."

 

Take the MERCY, take the compassion, take the forgiveness that he is giving us and give thanks.   

 

Forgiveness is a tricky thing, and one that I am just beginning to fully understand.  I am a grudge holder.  I have a really hard time letting go of things that others have done to me, when I hurt, I hurt for a long time.  I think as humans we were made to hold on to things, to dwell on others faults and shortcomings.  As Christians we are taught forgiveness. We are taught that when someone hurts you, you forgive them because we were forgiven.  Jesus took our sins and our burdens and carried the weight of the world to his grave.  He died so that we could live an eternal life free of sin.  He forgave the unforgivable, he endured the unendurable.  So why is it so hard to forgive? Why is it so hard to move on when we have been hurt? 

Romans 5:20-21~ "Sin didn't and doesn't have a chance in competitions with the aggressive forgiveness we call GRACE.  When it is sin versus grace, grace wins hands down.  All sin can do is threaten us with death and that's the end of it.  Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life - a life that goes on and one, world without end."

 

We were shown mercy, shown compassion when we didn't deserve it.  We are flawed, the church is flawed, religion is flawed, but Jesus is not.  He is perfect.  He took the weight of our sin to the grave so that we would be able to live eternity perfect like he was.  So even when someone doesn't "deserve" our forgiveness, we have to give it to them because it was given to us.  So my challenge to all of you and to myself is to FORGIVE.  Give GRACE to those who have done us wrong and move on.  Life is too short to hold grudges, it is too short to live in a state of anger.  Forgiveness is empowering, it is eye opening! 

We are flawed, but he is not...

 

Only Grace- Matthew West

 

There's only grace. There's only love
There's only mercy and believe me its enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only grace

Your starting over now
Under the sun
Your stepping forward now
A new life has begun
Your new life has begun

 

And if you should fall again
Get back up, get back up
Reach out and take my hand
And get back up, get back up
Get back up again
Ooh get back up again 

Our Purpose

"The lines of purpose in your life never grow slack, tightly tied as they are to your future in heaven, kept taut by HOPE" Colossians 1:5

How amazing is that? My purpose here on earth, right now, is as sure as my future is in heaven! Sometimes I question what my real purpose here on earth is.  Did the Lord send me here to be a loving daughter, sister, and wife? Did he send me to be a nurse, to help people? Did he send me here to share his word? While all of those things apply to me, is that what my purpose is? Or is that just what I have chosen to do with my life? Is there a difference? Do we have a choice, or is everything we do part of his HUGE plan, and we are just playing the part he wants us to play? Its hard for me to find a difference.  While I have had many doubts in life, I haven never once doubted the Lords hand and impact in my life.  I believe that he placed me on this earth to fulfill a specific purpose; and while I can make decisions about what I want to do or who I want to be, he already knows what I am going to chose and the results of that choice. 

I had an amazing God moment today at work.  This is my first week off of orientation and officially on my own, needless to say it has been overwhelming and amazing all at once! There is a song called Jesus in Disguise by Brandon Heath, it has become one of my favorite songs lately.  So I am in a patient room today just going about my business when I overhear my patient's grandma tell my patient, "Whenever you hear that song, Jesus in Disguise you think of your doctors and your nurses and you thank God for sending you Jesus in disguise. They are here to save your life." I had a smile ear to ear and it took everything I had not to cry! Just when I was feeling overwhelmed, he sent me a message that people I barley knew were praying for me.  

How much more obvious does he need to make it, that this is my purpose, this is what he sent me for.  To heal and help people, help children, in their darkest storms.  My heart was full of thanks, my heart was just full.  

I just began sponsoring a child in Africa, more specifically in Swaziland, the country I am going to in February.  As I was writing her a letter the other night I thought about the impact she has had on me lately.  It was hard for my husband to understand my desire and my reasoning for sponsoring a child.  For him it was just an added expense, when we have all of these other things we want to do with our money, lots of projects, lots of wants.  For me it was a calling, a desire to provide for someone what has always been a luxury for us, food, water, shelter and medicine.  I have never been hungry.  I have never not had a place to sleep at night. When I am sick, I go to the doctor, I have health insurance. I thank God everyday for the amazing life he has provided for me. For the things that I worry about, seem so insignificant to the the worries of those living in poverty.  I felt a purpose.  The lord was nudging me just enough where I knew I had to do this for this little girl.  I pray that I will get to meet her when I go to Africa.  I pray that I will be able to shower her with love and the little things in life I take for granted.  She wants to be a doctor when she grows up... I wonder what her purpose is, I wonder what amazing things the Lord has in store for her! I can't wait to watch this story unfold... 

So what is your purpose? Are you embracing his plan or fighting it tooth and nail?

I pray that the lord will make your purpose as clear as he has made mine. Be someone's Jesus in disguise!

Jesus in Disguise

You were looking for a king
You would never recognize
Jesus in disguise

So open my eyes, wide as I can
Blind as I am, blind as I am
So open my eyes as wide as I can

Church Shopping

Finding a church to call home has been a very long and difficult process for me and my husband.  We were both raised in the same very traditional Lutheran Church in St. Paul.  We attended Sunday school and youth group together, learning various traditions along the way (Lutefisk and Lefse being just a few of them).  We fell in love on a youth group ski trip in high school and got engaged in the very same spot.  Throughout college, religion and church took a back seat for both of us and it wasn't until we moved in together after our engagement that we really started thinking about joining a church again.  At the time we were on and off going to a contemporary church in Apple Valley, but there was something missing.  We decided we wanted to get married at the church Chad's parents currently called home, a Lutheran church in Apple Valley.  It is an amazing church, picture perfect with fantastic pastors.  We became members and tried to get into their contemporary service, but it had yet to really take off and was not what I wanted in a worship service.  Having grown up in a traditional Lutheran church we knew that type of service was what we didn't want.  Thus we were church shopping (on the sly because we had become members at the church we were getting married at)

Some advice for those shopping for a church:

Make a list of all of the qualities you want in a church.  (For me this was pretty easy, my husband was less than thrilled with the idea of church shopping so it was left to me to find one and persuade him to go)

My Original List:

Contemporary music with a band

Interesting sermons that relate to everyday life with scripture basis

A church that did infant baptisms

A service that had a structured layout (ex: 3 songs, welcome, prayers, gospel, sermon, creed, communion, benediction.. in whatever order is normal)

Welcoming environment, opportunities to get involved

Not too big, not too small

A youth program that "will take our future kids places in their faith, and around the world"

Our shopping journey~ 

It didn't take long to find an amazing church when we lived in the Woodbury area, King of Kings Lutheran Church is fantastic! They had amazing music, interesting sermons and the structure within the service I liked and they did infant baptisms.  It was the perfect size, very inviting and had an amazing youth program. The Perfect church to call home (for the 12 months we lived there...)

Then comes the problem... we buy a house in Lakeville (a 45min drive one way to my perfect church).  Was this church worth the drive? ABSOLUTELY, for me, right now.  But not for my husband, and what about when we have kids? Do I want to spend 1 1/2 hrs of my day just in the car? Not so much.  

Church shopping take two:

I emailed my pastor at my perfect church in Woodbury and told her how sad I was to be moving away from the area, but asked her if she had any recommendations of similar churches in the area we had moved to.  She gave me a list of 6 churches, I started testing them out the following Sunday.  

Advice number two- When you walk in the church and it smells funny and everyone looks at you like you just walked into an exclusive party, do a lap and walk out the side door. Strike 1, 5 more to go.  20 min was too far to drive, especially 20 min further into the boonies... Strike 2 and 3. Church number 4 didn't offer a contemporary service at all, strike 4.  5 and 6 were tricky as number 5 was the church one of my good friends parents attended (and loved) and 6 was 4 blocks from our new home.  

Advice number three- Give it at least two weeks or two different services to really decide if you like it.  Number 5 struck out with my husband so it struck out with me.  That left us with number 6.  An amazing church close to home that had some of the qualities we were looking for.

Advice number four- Look at your original list and decide what is an absolute MUST have in a church.

My Revised List~

Contemporary music

Interesting sermons that relate to everyday life with scripture basis

A church that did infant baptisms 

Welcoming environment, opportunities to get involved

4 simple things right? Wrong... we attended church 6 for about 5 months, I loved it and hated it at the same time.  It is a MASSIVE church, I'm talking stadium seating, big screens and atm like machines to give your offering.  Plus they started to build a senior living center attached to it.  At this point I am beyond frustrated because I did not feel at home.  We had been going for 5 months and not once had we met someone who made us feel welcomed, we were just a few fish in a HUGE ocean.  I was venting to a friend about our church shopping struggles and she told me to come with her to the church she called home.  I had been there before, it was the contemporary church that we had been attending on and off for a little while close to our new house.  It was an AMAZING service (Thanks pastor Lindsay)!!!  It was on New Years day and the pastor spoke about living your life for the lord and how nothing else matters.  It was the first time I had taken a scripture from a sermon and really understood its magnitude. "And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the father through him." (Colossians 3:17) We decided to give this church a few weeks and see how it went. We met Pastor Anthony on one of our second trips to River Valley and he immediately made us feel welcomed.  He introduced himself and asked us about ourselves and just made us feel at home.  We were pretty much hooked and then my friend convinced me to take a course called Alpha (see blog entry number 1).  I was 98% in love with this church, it met all of the revised list requirements except for 1, they don't do infant baptisms they do baby dedications.  

Advise number five- Make compromises when things just "feel right".

Things felt right, they felt great! I had made some friends through this class and had found a pastor that I could talk to, and overall we just felt welcomed and at home.  So the small hang up on infant baptisms is for a whole other post, lets just say I obviously found a way around it as I recently got baptized.  

What makes a church a home? It just feels right, it feels safe, it feels like a place that you can go without any judgments or reservations. So my last piece of advice is to keep trying, keep searching.  The Lord will open amazing doors for you, even if you have to open what feels like hundreds of doors until you get the one that just feels right.  My door was River Valley Church in Apple Valley, and I invite you to try it out if that door hasn't been opened for you.  We would love to welcome you the same way we were welcomed 9 months ago!

Storms

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight- Proverbs 3:5-6

Always? Trust the Lord Always? I think this is so much easier said than done, which is one of the reasons we call ourselves humans. I think it is so easy to trust in the Lord when things a going well in our lives, we know he is sending us down the right path, we agree with where our lives are heading, but what about when we don't agree? What about when the plans we have for our lives are no aligning with what's happening? I know that I am supposed to trust in his plan, and try not to understand, but what if I want to understand?  What if I want to know why he is giving me struggles or what if I want to know why he is putting distance between someone I care about? What if I'm just really impatient and want what I want right now?!

I was talking to a good friend about this, and how sometimes I think the plans he has in store for us or our loved ones are just too great for us to wrap our heads around.  He created us to be smart and inquisitive, but sometimes he just doesn't want us to know the answers! There comes a point where we just have to have faith, we have to trust that this is what he wants. So much easier said than done... How do you just sit back and trust when friendships grow in distance, or when people we love earn their angel wings way to early in life? How do we know this is really his plan when it differs so greatly from our own plans?

I am slowly doing a bible study about storms, and the challenges we face when the lord sends us storms.  Anything can be a storm, and in looking and reflecting on my own life I have many things I can categorize as storms.  In looking at a journal entry from July, many of my storms are the same.  Some have changed, some have gotten better and some have been added.  Arguments, finances, relationships, deaths, distant friendships, work emotions and general day to day struggles with things going on in my life.  One thing we know to be true is that there will never be a time in our lives where everything is perfect, we will always have storms so what better way then to learn to endure and survive or even thrive! 

The bible tells us that we will endure storms in our lives and gives us the tools to survive the storms. Storms will surely come, they will come wrapped in Gods purpose and plan. 

"We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know they are good for us, they help us learn to endure."~ Romans 5:3-5
Endurance is the mark of a believer who is growing in Christ. Endure each storm, stand firm and be steadfast. 
"He stilled the storm to a whisper, the waves of the sea were hushed." ~Psalm 107:29 
We must pray for strength to endure the storms, the seas will calm, it just takes time and prayer.

"Do not be surprised at the painful things you are suffering.  These things are testing your faith." 1Peter 4:12-13
What storms are you facing right now? I challenge you to write down your storms, and pray for strength to get through them.
I will leave you with a picture from one of my harder days.  This day was supposed to be amazing, we were on out honeymoon and we decided to go deep sea fishing.  I get really motion sick, so I prepared with some Dramamine. I have never seen such big waves in my entire life! I prayed for calm seas and for the waves to subside and I'm pretty sure they just got bigger and bigger.  I threw up the entire trip, and thinking how much money we paid to go on this trip made it that much worse! But I was safe and alive, and Chad even caught a fish! So when the storms in my life start to drive the way I am living, I just think of that awful boat ride and thank the lord for all I have in my life that is going well and pray that the other stuff will just work itself out.

 

Peaks, Pits, Praises and Prayers

As we were driving home from our weekend out of state with friends, I decided I would waste some time and browse Pinterest for some fun craft ideas or tasty looking recipes.  While I did find many crafts, and many recipes, I also found this picture. Peaks, pits, praises, prayers.  It's a picture of someones journal with the following instructions. "Peaks, Pits, Praises and Prayers Journal. 1. Peaks of the Day: The highlights. The good moments. Something overall positive that happened during the day. 2. Pit of the Day: The low point of the day. But, rather than just complaining about it, a way that looking back at it can be positive or a blessing in disguise. 3. Praise: Simply praising God for specific things that happened 4. Prayers: Prayer requests that may have arose from the new day."

My new bible bag

I thought this would make a fantastic blog post, and is an amazing premise to journaling.  I really enjoy journaling, well actually I really enjoy starting new journals! I was doing really well this spring with journaling with my daily S.O.A.P. sessions (SOAP instructions) and then I got mad at the Lord and sick of journaling.  After I spoke my peace with the man upstairs, I wanted to start a new journal because the things I had written about made me cry every time I re-read them.  Prayers for family members who had passed away, prayers for children at work who now called heaven home, just sad memories.   Now don't get me wrong, they all weren't sad entries; I journaled on my honeymoon, and about my wedding anniversary both of which were very happy entries! So I tucked that journal away in my new bible bag (see picture) and found a new journal.  This new journal has only 1 entry in it, my baptism testimony and my memories from that special day. I am hoping to add some more entries to it soon, but my new blog may be getting my thoughts for a while...
Anyways back to the purpose of this post, Peaks, Pits, Praises and Prayers. I have decided to do one entry for the summer and then try and do a monthly post after that (maybe journaling daily in my new journal?)

Spending time up north with my amazing husband

Peaks: There are so many peaks from the last three months!! I celebrated my first wedding anniversary with my husband Chad, (we went out to a fancy restaurant in New Orleans to celebrate and then went to a Twins game on our actual anniversary) we were blessed to take many trips this summer and spent lots of time with family.  I ran my first 5k of the year in honor of an amazing little girl, and got to spend some time with her parents while they were in town for the race. (Thanks Em for keeping me going when I wanted to quit!) I became a NURSE!!! That's a BIG praise, after two years of nursing school and many prayers for it to just be all over I passed my boards and became a nurse.  My pinning ceremony was fantastic, my family was able to attend and I was pinned by an amazing nurse who just so happens to my mentor at work!  Along with becoming a nurse I was offered my DREAM job and I'm currently only 6 shifts away from being done with orientation.  I think my biggest praise for the summer was my baptism last weekend. It was such an amazing experience, and I feel like it is just the beginning for even more amazing things to come!

My 5K running buddy Em and I after our race

Pits: It's hard to re-think about the bad things that happened this summer.  Chad's grandfather passed away this summer and that was especially hard because it was his first grandparent to pass away, and  I said goodbye to some amazing kids who were relieved of their suffering and went to be with Jesus.  
Praises: I have so many praises for the lord this summer!!! I am so thankful for the new friends he has put in my life, and the relationships that he has strengthened.  I am thankful for all the good things that come from working at a children's hospital; seeing kids that we healed years after transplant, letters of thanks and innocent games of house in the middle of a busy day.  I am so thankful for the smiles on the faces of the kids I am honored to work with, they make this unbelievably difficult job enjoyable! I am thankful for the doors that have been opened through River Valley Church, my baptism, my new friends, my upcoming trip to Africa and so many more!

Dad and I golfing up north

Prayers: Lord I pray today that you will continue to use me to help others in whatever way you see fit.  I pray for continued spiritual growth, and new opportunities to get involved at my church.  I pray that you will use my journey in faith to help others who are struggling with their beliefs and their faith. I pray blessings over my friends, my family and my home. Amen

I will leave you with some lyrics to an amazing song and some more photos of my summer peaks!

Pinning Ceremony for Nursing school, my bestest nursing buddy Bri and I

"All my life I have seen where you've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen
There's not much I can do to repay all you've done so I give my hands to use
This is my desire
This is my return
This is my desire to be used by you" Desire~Jeremy Camp

Anniversary dinner at NOLA Restaurant