Church Shopping

Finding a church to call home has been a very long and difficult process for me and my husband.  We were both raised in the same very traditional Lutheran Church in St. Paul.  We attended Sunday school and youth group together, learning various traditions along the way (Lutefisk and Lefse being just a few of them).  We fell in love on a youth group ski trip in high school and got engaged in the very same spot.  Throughout college, religion and church took a back seat for both of us and it wasn't until we moved in together after our engagement that we really started thinking about joining a church again.  At the time we were on and off going to a contemporary church in Apple Valley, but there was something missing.  We decided we wanted to get married at the church Chad's parents currently called home, a Lutheran church in Apple Valley.  It is an amazing church, picture perfect with fantastic pastors.  We became members and tried to get into their contemporary service, but it had yet to really take off and was not what I wanted in a worship service.  Having grown up in a traditional Lutheran church we knew that type of service was what we didn't want.  Thus we were church shopping (on the sly because we had become members at the church we were getting married at)

Some advice for those shopping for a church:

Make a list of all of the qualities you want in a church.  (For me this was pretty easy, my husband was less than thrilled with the idea of church shopping so it was left to me to find one and persuade him to go)

My Original List:

Contemporary music with a band

Interesting sermons that relate to everyday life with scripture basis

A church that did infant baptisms

A service that had a structured layout (ex: 3 songs, welcome, prayers, gospel, sermon, creed, communion, benediction.. in whatever order is normal)

Welcoming environment, opportunities to get involved

Not too big, not too small

A youth program that "will take our future kids places in their faith, and around the world"

Our shopping journey~ 

It didn't take long to find an amazing church when we lived in the Woodbury area, King of Kings Lutheran Church is fantastic! They had amazing music, interesting sermons and the structure within the service I liked and they did infant baptisms.  It was the perfect size, very inviting and had an amazing youth program. The Perfect church to call home (for the 12 months we lived there...)

Then comes the problem... we buy a house in Lakeville (a 45min drive one way to my perfect church).  Was this church worth the drive? ABSOLUTELY, for me, right now.  But not for my husband, and what about when we have kids? Do I want to spend 1 1/2 hrs of my day just in the car? Not so much.  

Church shopping take two:

I emailed my pastor at my perfect church in Woodbury and told her how sad I was to be moving away from the area, but asked her if she had any recommendations of similar churches in the area we had moved to.  She gave me a list of 6 churches, I started testing them out the following Sunday.  

Advice number two- When you walk in the church and it smells funny and everyone looks at you like you just walked into an exclusive party, do a lap and walk out the side door. Strike 1, 5 more to go.  20 min was too far to drive, especially 20 min further into the boonies... Strike 2 and 3. Church number 4 didn't offer a contemporary service at all, strike 4.  5 and 6 were tricky as number 5 was the church one of my good friends parents attended (and loved) and 6 was 4 blocks from our new home.  

Advice number three- Give it at least two weeks or two different services to really decide if you like it.  Number 5 struck out with my husband so it struck out with me.  That left us with number 6.  An amazing church close to home that had some of the qualities we were looking for.

Advice number four- Look at your original list and decide what is an absolute MUST have in a church.

My Revised List~

Contemporary music

Interesting sermons that relate to everyday life with scripture basis

A church that did infant baptisms 

Welcoming environment, opportunities to get involved

4 simple things right? Wrong... we attended church 6 for about 5 months, I loved it and hated it at the same time.  It is a MASSIVE church, I'm talking stadium seating, big screens and atm like machines to give your offering.  Plus they started to build a senior living center attached to it.  At this point I am beyond frustrated because I did not feel at home.  We had been going for 5 months and not once had we met someone who made us feel welcomed, we were just a few fish in a HUGE ocean.  I was venting to a friend about our church shopping struggles and she told me to come with her to the church she called home.  I had been there before, it was the contemporary church that we had been attending on and off for a little while close to our new house.  It was an AMAZING service (Thanks pastor Lindsay)!!!  It was on New Years day and the pastor spoke about living your life for the lord and how nothing else matters.  It was the first time I had taken a scripture from a sermon and really understood its magnitude. "And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the father through him." (Colossians 3:17) We decided to give this church a few weeks and see how it went. We met Pastor Anthony on one of our second trips to River Valley and he immediately made us feel welcomed.  He introduced himself and asked us about ourselves and just made us feel at home.  We were pretty much hooked and then my friend convinced me to take a course called Alpha (see blog entry number 1).  I was 98% in love with this church, it met all of the revised list requirements except for 1, they don't do infant baptisms they do baby dedications.  

Advise number five- Make compromises when things just "feel right".

Things felt right, they felt great! I had made some friends through this class and had found a pastor that I could talk to, and overall we just felt welcomed and at home.  So the small hang up on infant baptisms is for a whole other post, lets just say I obviously found a way around it as I recently got baptized.  

What makes a church a home? It just feels right, it feels safe, it feels like a place that you can go without any judgments or reservations. So my last piece of advice is to keep trying, keep searching.  The Lord will open amazing doors for you, even if you have to open what feels like hundreds of doors until you get the one that just feels right.  My door was River Valley Church in Apple Valley, and I invite you to try it out if that door hasn't been opened for you.  We would love to welcome you the same way we were welcomed 9 months ago!